People think that intimacy and disability don’t go together very well, but why? Some people think that people with disabilities don’t know what intimacy is. This is true for some people but not true for a lot of people. Intimacy is a desire that God gave all of us. So people with disabilities are not Asexual at all but are like anybody else.
What Is Intimacy?
Sometimes people think that intimacy is just sex, but it is not. Intimacy can be a candlelight dinner, holding one another during a movie, or just talking by a fireplace. Most people with a disability can do these things, so intimacy and disability can go together. With that being said, some people might think that there is a wheelchair in the way. This is true, but people have to adapt. Everyone has to adapt to something in his or her life.
Example of Intimacy and Disability
One couple that I admire is Barton and Megan
Cutter. Barton has Cerebral Palsy
and Megan is just an able-body. They show their intimacy so many ways and one video that I watched was when Megan was on Barton’s lap and he was going in circles with his wheelchair. Both of them were looking into each other’s eyes. It was not at a wedding or a club, but it was right in their driveway. If you don’t think that was intimacy, I would love to know what intimacy is for you.
Another video was when they were at a restaurant holding hands and just talking. I am sure that they get looks when they enter a place. Do you think they care? Heck no! One time she said that when they first were dating, it bothered her, but when her love for Barton grew, things like looks stopped bothering her. You see that intimacy and disability can coexist together. It depends on if both persons truly want it.
What About Sex?
You might be asking what about sex. I ask you the same question - what about sex? To me, sex should be within a marriage. But I do believe that if a couple who are truly in love and are married, sex can happen. I think within any marriage, they learn what each other likes and doesn’t like. With a person with a disability, it might take a little while to learn what works. If the couple truly loves each other, they will figure out a way to make it happen. I think that these days’ people don’t want to work on their relationship and just end it. With having a person with a disability
in the relationship, they might have more will to make it work. This is just a thought of mine and I don’t know if it is true or not.
Intimacy and disability are rare because people don’t like the unknowns, but everything has unknowns. Yes, even intimacy. I think unknowns are great for intimacy because you are learning a lot about each other and that is how love grows. If you want just sex, you are missing a lot from the relationship and that is very sad.
I think intimacy and disability can work out if you let them. If you like someone with a disability but aren’t sure what to do. The only thing to do is to talk with the person. The person is the only person who knows what works and what won’t. If the person does not know either, both of you can explore what works. It might help your relationship so enjoy the journey.