This week I watched the Good Doctor on ABC, and they had a good story that we have to talk about as people with disabilities. There was a mom who had a teenager who had Autism and the dad was not in their lives. She was trying to take care of her son, but he was big and strong. He hurt his mom with force and he didn’t know what he was doing. The question was should he be in an assistive place where they could help him when he acts up. This post is going to look at the bigger question - when should you determine that you need help?
Sometimes a family thinks that they have to take care of the family member with a disability for their whole life. They think it would be the best thing, but it is not the thing to do. Let’s talk about people with Autism first. A person with Autism usually has behavior issues, which they can’t control it. When they act up, they could hurt themselves and/or other people. This is dangerous for everyone, and sometimes the person with Autism needs professional help.
Parents usually think that they can handle the issues by their selves, and that might be true, but when does safety override the desire of taking care of the loved one? I think this question is a tricky one. First, there are many questions to answer. Some questions are:
- Where do we place our loved one?
- How much money will it cost?
- What if the love one act up, will they just give them drugs to calm the person?
There are many other questions to answer. I think the doctors don’t look at the big picture. They only see the abuse from the person with Autism. Yes, that is a serious issue to deal with because the person with Autism might hurt himself or herself or a family member. But, the time to find a good place might take some time. Besides, the place might have a long waiting list.
Let’s talk about people with a physical disability like Cerebral Palsy
or Muscular Dystrophy. As a person who is growing up, they get heavier and parents most likely can’t handle them. For me, I don’t gain weight easily so lifting was never an issue, but I got tight. As I got tighter, my body is not easy to move like before.
As we talked about Autism, we said that safety is one of the factors for getting help. Safety is also a factor with physical disabilities, but it is not from abuse. It is from not lifting correctly or slipping. Earlier this year, I had a personal care assistant who lifted me wrong and hurt his back. He had to quit. There were other factors that added to his injuries.
With having several aides taking care of you, it makes the work easier on the whole family. One thing that I didn’t realize when my dad was taking care of me was that our relationship was not dad and a son. It was like a caregiver style. I am not saying it is bad, but it is not the same. Even now since I am on my own, my relationship with him is not perfect because when he comes, I usually need something fixed or talk about something.
Life with a disability does not go as planned so relationships will never be perfect. Relationships without a disability are not perfect. I think when you have a disability; relationships are essential because you will always need help. With that being said, I think that there needs be a time when you have to think about the future as a family
. It might mean that in five years, you have to change the family a little but that is ok. The talk about the future needs to start now rather than when you are in a financing emergency https://green-touch.org/business-loans/easy/